Hate.

I am mentally drained.

Potty training sucks.  And latex gloves are my best friend.  But Lexi is getting it...it's just taking forever.

DH started the 30 Day Shred again yesterday.  He told me last night he forgot how hard it kicks his a**.  Lol.

Aspergers.  I hate it.  I hate the overwhelming, yet lacking, amount of information that is (or isn't) out there.  I hate that, being the mom, I'm the one responsible for finding solutions.  (Not that DH isn't involved...he's more of the "tell me what I can/need to do" kind of guy.  Yeah, I think we need to work on that.)  I hate reading "symptoms" and thinking, "But she does the opposite!".  I hate strongly dislike her clingy friends who think Tay should be there to help them with their teeny tiny problems when she is struggling herself.  Most of all, I hate seeing it.  Tay will post a simple and sometimes funny status update on FB and it NEVER fails, one particularly clingy friend will post, "R u there?", meaning she wants to chat.  And she'll keep posting it.  Or this friend will criticize herself on Tay's status comments.  She's looking for attention.  I feel sorry for her, I really do.  I know that she is lonely, but I also know she has issues her mom (dad is MIA) needs to address.  We had an incident over the summer that resulted in DH and I calling 911 over this friend.  She was looking for Tay and we think she faked an attack.  We called 911 to be on the safe side.  She has issues and it's driving me 10 different kids of crazy that she clings to Tay all.the.time looking for her counsel.  Not friendship.  Attention, advice, adoration, etc.  She can be very draining and short of advising Tay to lengthen the cord a bit, there isn't much I can do about it.  The school is aware of the situation, especially the teachers that work with Tay on her social skills.  She's drawn to the one who need love, help, etc.  Then they suck her dry.  Ugh.

My treadmill misses me I'm sure.

That sounds so bad, like I've been sitting on my butt all.the.live.long.day and not doing a thing, lol.  In reality I have been doing a lot!  It's just not standard workout material. 

At the beginning of the summer, I had 3 big goals:

• Build a patio below our deck
• Clean out our little shed and put shelves in to organize things
• Empty our sandbox, lay down landscape fabric (to stop weeds), refill with sand (and more sand!).

I am very happy to say that all 3 of those things actually happened!  The only one that is totally complete is the sandbox.  The shed is cleaned out with shelves in it and we can get our bikes in and out without a hassle, whoo-hoo! We still need to get rid of the broken junk that had gotten tossed in there though.  Right now it's in an unattractive pile in front of the shed. 

As for that patio....what a pain!  I wanted a larger entertaining area to place our portable fire pit and our deck was getting crowded with a swing, grill, kids picnic table, water/sand table and our table and chairs on top of that firepit.  All summer it kept getting delayed and last Friday I up and decided to get going on it.  By Monday night everything had been dug, the landscaping fabric had been laid, the sand had been spread/leveled and the block had been laid.  Now we just need some more sand to fill the cracks, dirt packed around the edge, and general cleanup around the deck area.  Another big bonus is that I finally found a new swing for our swing frame!  Our cats destroyed our previous swing by shredding the cushioned seats and it's been 2 years since we've been able to use it.  The new swing arrived this morning, I assembled it and it's up:)

So, lots and lots of activity (and blisters!).  My treadmill will see me again...just after the yardwork is done:) 

And then you blink!

I knew that it had been a while, but geez.  February?  Sad thing is, I'm on the computer.  A lot.  Wouldn't kill me to swing by once in a while:)  

So.  No longer doing the Shred.  I have moved on..literally.   Back in January I had gotten clearance from my doctor to give the world of running a try.  Problem is, in Minnesota a nice day for a run is a toss-up.  Plus, it's too easy to say "It's hot out".  Or my most often used excuse, "I can't leave the kids".  Which is true.  When Tay is gone, I don't have anyone to watch the wee ones.  So I'd occasionally run up and down our driveway for 30 minutes.  Then....we got a treadmill.

Now most husbands do the whole "Oh hell no!" when they wife requests a treadmill.  They figure they are walking into a trap.  They surprise the wife with a treadmill, she thinks he's calling her fat, and he winds up on the couch.  I assured my husband that wouldn't happen.  We wound up winning one on a local on-line auction site.  My mom and I drove the couple hours to pick it up and since then (July 16th), I have no more excuses.  Whether it's a quick run for some speed or a lengthy run to clear my head, I get something done on there.  And I like it:)

Dear brownies, you suck.

Just sayin'.  But it's okay now, they're gone.  And they were also made with applesauce instead of vegetable oil...still good, but...weird.  Apple brownies.  I have used applesauce and Diet Coke to replace the vegetable oil in cakes before so we tried it with brownies.  Yep.  Just weird.  I also used them for inspiration on the past few days of the Shred.  When I am doing my oblique twists I imagine I am kneeing/pushing the brownies away.  The things a girl will do to push through the last few moves, lol.

Anyway today was Level 2, Day 7.  Gotta say, I'm looking forward to Level 3.  It has GOT to be the one that I remember was a little "easier".

Today was just tough overall.  I slept like crap last night.  A whopping 3 hours!  I figured that I'd get another precious hour after Tay went off to school...yeah right.  Life is what happens when you're making other plans, right?  Cole was up a full *2* hours before he usually is.  That would be fine except....he woke Lexi up as well. :::sigh:::  Both of them ran around like crazy hyped up puppies before Cole screeched to a stop and said, "We should still be sleeping!".  Pardon my french, but no sh*t Sherlock.  I briefly considered skipping my workout today, but figured it may be the jolt of energy I needed.  Well, it got me through lunch, lol.

Being wrong...

sucks.

Level 2 isn't easier.  It kicked my a**.  Holy cardio. Jillian talked about gargling my heart and wanting to die.  Yeah, I felt both of those, lol.  The upside is that I felt it afterward, meaning I was working different muscles.  Feeling it like that makes me feel like I'm making progress.  Measurement and scale wise, nothing much has changed, but it has only been 10 days.  I'll keep chugging along and if after 30 days there is no change, then I'll whine a bit, lol.

Speaking of change, today I woke up at 7am to get Tay going for school....and I stayed up.  I think it helps that it is no longer dark, the sun is up and it looks like daylight.  I want to stay up, move around, start my day.  I won't lie, it is still tempting to crawl back into my warm bed for another hour, especially when DH is still in there (winter hours for him).  But it was nice to stay up, work out, shower and be ready for the day, all by 9am.  Someone else thought that too...

It's 7:15am, I'm dress to kick my own a**, and what do I hear over the monitor?  Lexi whimpering about something, not sure what.  I open her door and she hops out of bed, all ready to start her day, lol.  A full 1-2 hours earlier than usual.  I gave her a sippy, settled her with some Arthur and went to work out.  She joined me later, trying to follow along and all.  It's hard to breathe during your work out when you're giggling so hard;)

Level 2, here I come.

Today was Level 1, Day 10.  Today was also the day I discovered that DH bought my *favorite* Easter candy: Cadbury chocolate mini eggs.  Damn.  I'm not sure if he was being sweet (he says he likes them too) or if it is sabotage, lol.  I won't lie, I had some.  A few really.  Um, handfuls.  But I'm done now and even made DH take the bag with him to watch his show on the computer downstairs.  "Finish the bag" is what I told him. 

Anyway, Level 1, Day 10.  Still breaking a sweat.  If I remember correctly, I believe Level 2 is easier.  Or maybe I just like those moves better. Who knows.  Either way, I have done this before and I will finish it again.  20 more days.  That's nothing:) 

In other areas of life, my house is a disaster.  Lexi's room is finished, except for a few touchups.  Painting textured walls s.u.c.k.s.  It looks good, then the paint dries and "stretches" so you see little patches of specks of white (or whatever color you painted over).  Ugh.  Pain in my a**.  I'm still waiting for my sconces and jewelry armoire to arrive, hopefully tomorrow.  I'm just ready to be done redoing rooms.

Mmmmm....cake:)

Yep, it's been one of those days.  A "bad" day.  Or I'm going to call it my one "super cheat day" because the list of what I ate today is NOT good, lol.  A lot of junk, just because it sounded good.  Oy.  And DH just made a german chocolate cake that I snuck a piece of before he frosts it.  Once that walnut and coconut frosting is on, I won't touch it as I don't like that kind of frosting.  Saved!:)

Why the "super cheat day"?  Well, we went to a local annual festival that is compared to a German mardi gras. We drank.  A lot.  And did I have any water in between those beers? Um...no.  I did drink a lot of water yesterday and today, but wow.  Today I have a case of the "Wow, I'm hungry and a salad won't cut it."  We stayed in a hotel last night, woke up and went to a restaurant for lunch (yes, I missed breakfast.  I don't do that.  I'm big on breakfast.) since we knew we wouldn't get out for dinner tonight with all the other couples celebrating Valentine's day.  Then I had a Hostess cupcake.  And a (small) bowl of ice cream.  A couple of Weight Watcher's snack cakes.  A tootsie roll pop.  And now some cake.  Yikes.  Oh well, day is done.  Tomorrow is a new one. 

And I did my 30 Day Shred as well.  I said I would do the workout 30 days in a row and I will stick to it!  Tomorrow is Day 8 and I can bet it will be an easier workout than today's was, lol.